I am puke
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
