I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
