she smelled like a LAN party
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Randomize
