I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
