yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
