I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Randomize
