It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
