Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize