Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
