Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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