I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
