you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
