I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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