oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
