You're my little dorito
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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