I am puke
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
