Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Randomize
