My brain says no but my pants say off.
I am midnight drunk by noon
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
