Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Couch. On fire.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
