Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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