ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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