he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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