Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
