Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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