she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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