I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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