Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
its not stalking. its research.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
