I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
