I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
did i just pee glitter
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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