Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
