I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
