.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
