sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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