I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
from now on my penis is your penis
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
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