i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize