I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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