I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
