Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
