Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize