what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
