have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
