his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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