When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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