Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
