Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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