so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
