I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
The uberlube is also flammable
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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