So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
We have started to decorate penises.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize
