What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
