I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
