problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
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