so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
