Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Randomize
