We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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