this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
His nipple licking is glorious
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