her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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