Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
