i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
