Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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