He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize