i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
